… of the mental variety. I haven’t updated about my battle with depression in a while, so I thought it was about time.
The Counseling: This was a big bust. I went several times by myself and several times with my husband. Neither of us were satisfied. I was hoping that our sessions together would lead us to some sort of a revelation, but the only thing they did was make us rehash issues that we had already talked about. It actually seemed to be hurting more than it was helping. I can see how it might be beneficial for a couple that wasn’t communicating at all, but it wasn’t for us.
I was hoping the individual sessions would give me some tools to deal with my depression, anxiety, obsessions, and self-esteem issues. I understand that we needed to get to the root of the problem, but the counselor took it too far. She started blaming my father (how Freudian, right?) for my self esteem. I’m sorry, but my father is NOT the cause of my problems. I grew up in a very loving, open, understanding family. We may not have always had the nicest things or the newest clothes, but we were loved. We were told we were beautiful, and we were encouraged to believe in ourselves. Moving on…
The Relationship: I’m not going to get into the gory details here, but suffice it to say that at a point, we were VERY close to being separated. The problem was, we still love each other and even though we couldn’t stand to be around one another, we couldn’t be apart either. We finally just reached the point where we said: We HAVE to make this work. We’ve been doing alot better lately. It’s not perfect by any means, but it feels a little better. This relationship stuff is hard, yall.
The medicine: My doctor prescribed an SSRI (an antidepressant) called Lexapro. Overall, I liked it and it seemed to be working, but we did have to up the dosage a bit. He gave me like 3 months worth of samples, so I went for the first time to get my prescription last week. The pharmacist told me that my insurance had denied it because there was no generic, and they wanted to know why the doctor didn’t try a cheaper alternative first. Great. I hate love dealing with insurance companies.
After a few phone calls, it was determined that there was a pill that is very similar and has a generic. I was so glad to hear that I wouldn’t have to start on something that was wildly different. The good news: The Lexapro would have cost me $30-40 a month copay. The new stuff… only $3 a month. Rock on!
Oh, and it came in this awesome little package. You see, I’m TERRIBLE at taking pills (that’s why the Nuvaring has been phenomenal for me). I just can’t seem to remember to take them. This package has them marked for each day of the week and tells you when to reorder. I think it helps, too that it’s a cool package. There’s even a button-lock that you have to press before the pills come out (woohoo for child safety!). Check it out:
Oh, and forgive the appearance. This is what I generally look like in the summer. No makeup, curly hair, and comfy clothes. Occasionally I’ll get dressed if I venture out. 
How I feel: Overall, I’m feeling a ton better. I still have difficult days. There are still times when I start to obsess about something or start to think irrational thoughts, but more than not I’m okay. I can tell that this is going to be a long, hard battle. The people around me have been tremendous, though. Thanks guys and gals for all of your thoughts and prayers. It looks like they’re helping.
And finally, tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my breast reduction. I have my post-op with the doc on Wednesday. There will be a separate post for this though. Hooray, boobs!
Oh and excuse the dorky high-cut shorts. They were comfortable. Oh and in the after picture with the sports bra, my boobs look uneven. They aren’t really, don’t worry. 
